Most entrepreneurs have learned that it’s almost always quicker and easier to get cash from someone you know, rather than angel investors or professional investors (VCs). In fact, most investors “require” that you already have some investment from friends and family before they will even step up to the plate.

You see, investors invest in people, before they invest in ideas or products. Since they don’t know you (yet), their first integrity check on you as a person is whether your friends and family believe in you strongly enough to give you seed money for your new idea. If they won’t do it, they why would I as stranger invest in you?

Friends and family will likely not expect the same level of sophistication on the business model and financials as a professional investor, but they do expect to see certain things. Here is a summary of some key items to think about as an entrepreneur before approaching friends, family, or even fools:

1. Don’t be afraid to ask, carefully. If you set around quietly waiting for someone you know to offer you money to fund a startup, you will probably have a long wait. On the other hand, if you open every conversation with “I need money,” you won’t have any friends or any money. Practice your “elevator pitch,” and end it by asking for the order.

2. Be upbeat and respectful. Nothing kills everyone’s optimism and desire to help quicker than a negative or arrogant attitude. If they are going to put cash into your company, chances are that they will expect to spend a fair amount of time together, either helping you or certainly discussing progress. Nobody likes a downer.

3. Be passionate about the idea. Friends and family will quickly detect your level of sincerity and thought behind the idea. You need to convince them that you have been working on this vision for a long time, and have done the “due diligence” on all the potential knockoffs. Daydreams and “the idea of the moment” won’t get much respect.

4. Demonstrate progress and your own “skin in the game.” Saying that you need money to start is not nearly as convincing as saying that you have built a prototype on your own dime, but need more to roll it out. We all know people who can talk a good game, but never get around to building anything.

5. Ask for the minimum rather than the maximum. We would all love to have a million dollars of funding to “do it right” and build the company of our dreams. But your chances are minimal of finding someone who will give you that much to start. Set some milestones for three or four months out, and show what you can do, then ask for more.

6. Communicate the risks, and write down the agreement. Be honest with naïve family members and friends about the inherent risks of a startup – at least 70% fail in the first five years. Don’t take money from family or friends who can’t afford to lose it. Think hard about the consequences of a possible startup failure and the loss of their funding.

7. Show some incremental value along the way. Look for ways to get some traction with a minimal product, while you are still developing the main event. In high technology, this is called “release early and iterate,” which allows you to make corrections as you go, as well as adjust for the market changes. It also shows progress to early backers.

8. Network to build investor relationships before you ask for money. Having a real project, rather than just an idea, is a strong positive when networking for Angels or VCs. Now you really have something to discuss, and real credibility as an entrepreneur. Build the friendship first, ask for advice on a real project, then maybe money later.

Overall, don’t think of friends and family funding only as a last resort. There are massive advantages, like sharing profits with friends and family, as well as the strategic credibility than can be gained from funding from someone you know, rather than from a professional investor.

I hope all of these points seem like common sense to you, and you wouldn’t think of handling it any other way. Yet, I’m continually amazed at how often I am approached as a professional investor by strangers asking for a million dollars to fund an idea, without hitting even one of the above points.

We can all recount horror stories of families and friendships torn apart by money lost on someone else’s speculative dream. In these cases both the entrepreneur and the funding partner are the fools. Don’t be one.

Marty Zwilling