Even entrepreneurs who have built many startups, or sold their last one for millions of dollars, know they make occasional people leadership mistakes. They know leadership is all about managing their own complicated, illogical, and fallible human foibles, as well as the people they depend on. These can trip up even the best, often at the cost of more than a good night’s sleep.

Thankfully, most mistakes won’t be as spectacular as the America Online merger with Time Warner for $350 billion, back in 2000, engineered by then superstar entrepreneurs Stephen M. Case and Gerald M. Levin. They apparently ignored all conventional wisdom and advisors, and struck a deal which crashed both companies, now a case study in many business schools.

By most accounts, this case exhibits almost all the lapses identified in a classic book by Dr. Nicole Lipkin, “What Keeps Leaders Up At Night.” She provides some great guidance, based on coaching experience and a doctorate in clinical psychology, on recognizing and resolving the most troubling management issues for leaders in all stages of an organization:

1. I’m a good leader. So why do I sometimes act like a bad one? According to the evidence, good bosses go bad (temporarily versus the chronically horrible), for three overarching reasons – too busy to win, to proud to see, or too afraid to lose. Every leader needs to check and enhance his self-awareness to recognize and avoid these.

2. Why don’t people heed my sage advice? Many people use the terms influence, persuasion, and manipulation interchangeably. But each carries its own specific meaning. Influence requires winning minds and hearts to inspire action. Persuasion intellectually stimulates a person to action. Manipulation is seen as insincerity, and it gets non-action.

3. Why do I lose my cool in hot situations? Stress comes in two distinct forms: good stress and bad stress (distress). Managed effectively, stress is a good thing, leading to survival. But chronic stress and distress results in overreaction to non-life-threatening events. Schedule an on-going reality check with trusted advisors to know the difference.

4. Why does a good fight sometimes go bad? A good fight in business is called healthy competition. Unfortunately, feelings of envy and inferiority can quickly turn healthy competition into a knock-down, drag-out fight between people and companies, turning a win-win situation into a lose-lose one. Check all your emotions at the gate.

5. Why can ambition sabotage success? Every leader needs to balance ambition with humility, restrain one’s ego, treat others with respect, create positive impressions, and adopt a long-term perspective of success. Don’t let a “nearsighted” view cloud the “big-picture” view; success in the best interests of all. Contemplate your legacy to others.

6. Why do people resist change? The brain’s hard wiring pre-disposes us to habitual behavior and decision making. We let biases influence our reaction to change and our ability to make decisions that cause change. To thrive you need to become more aware of biases and psychology behind your own and your people’s responses to change.

7. Why do good teams go bad? Humans have always affiliated with groups and teams in order to survive and thrive. Group dynamics are not always good, including “us” versus “them” mentality, group conformity, social loafing, and emotional contagion. Leaders need to manage these dynamics to keep from falling prey to negative group behaviors.

8. What causes a star to fade? When start performers fade, it’s almost always a failure to remain engaged with the people and the job. Smart leaders must constantly monitor the four essential elements of engagement: social connection, leadership excellence, aligned culture, and meaningful work and life. Engagement drives performance and satisfaction.

These questions should all be contemplated and understood by every entrepreneur and startup founder, starting on day one of their quest. Remember, we are all human, and we will make mistakes. The challenge is to learn from these, and just as importantly, learn from others who have been there before you.

So when you find yourself losing sleep at night, don’t get mired in the quicksand of self-pity and self-destruction. Every personal admonition of “What was I thinking?” should be followed with some objective analysis, maybe some help from a trusted ally, and a determination to get back on track and have fun. Being an entrepreneur is a lifestyle you must enjoy to be successful.

Marty Zwilling